The 12 Months of Ownership

[to the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”] In the first month of ownership, my heart horse gave to me, a nail in the sole of his foot. In the second month of ownership, my heart horse gave to me, large abscesses In the third month of ownership, my heart horse gave to me,Continue reading “The 12 Months of Ownership”

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Dear Kindly IRS Agent,

Dear Kindly IRS Agent, I’m writing to present my case for a silent and all-too-common flaw in the U.S. tax code, causing thousands of dollars of misrepresented fiscal reporting and threatening the livelihoods of many a responsible taxpayer: namely, the failure to recognize horses as dependents. Before you object, allow me to explain. My horseContinue reading “Dear Kindly IRS Agent,”

The Magic Resisted

When the muggles are taken from us, all that is left is for the wizards to unite.* Day 31 Very aware of my surroundings. Released a baby mandrake from a water orb. I know how the poor little guy feels. We’re all screaming inside. Fought off a boggart to free Ron. The magic resisted. FoundContinue reading “The Magic Resisted”

10 Statements in Error

…at an autumn wedding “It was summer yesterday, so it will feel like summer at 9pm tomorrow.” “Taking this dark shortcut to cut off a corner of the highway is a good idea.” “They won’t mind if we use this back entrance.” “I already got my ID back from the hotel clerk.” “I can carryContinue reading “10 Statements in Error”

Gratuitous

There are a lot of people seeing red these days. Apart from the ugliness in the news, I seem to be allergic to my house—either that, or my frustration with politics is literally beginning to change my eye color. It’s not a fun situation, and it may require me to move yet again if it doesn’tContinue reading “Gratuitous”

Two-lane Roads Diverged

Driving through Virginia this week, I’m pretty sure I discovered why so many rural Americans voted for President Trump: it’s because they have had to follow two slow-as vehicles on a two-lane road. One you can handle. Two just make you long for anarchy. Everything feels stagnant, and any kind of change would be welcome.Continue reading “Two-lane Roads Diverged”