10 Statements in Error

…at an autumn wedding “It was summer yesterday, so it will feel like summer at 9pm tomorrow.” “Taking this dark shortcut to cut off a corner of the highway is a good idea.” “They won’t mind if we use this back entrance.” “I already got my ID back from the hotel clerk.” “I can carryContinue reading “10 Statements in Error”

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Two-lane Roads Diverged

Driving through Virginia this week, I’m pretty sure I discovered why so many rural Americans voted for President Trump: it’s because they have had to follow two slow-as vehicles on a two-lane road. One you can handle. Two just make you long for anarchy. Everything feels stagnant, and any kind of change would be welcome.Continue reading “Two-lane Roads Diverged”

A Word About Coffee Addicts

You know you have it bad as a coffee addict when you run out of the house, late, screaming behind you as you run, “I hate you, Benedict!”, having just renamed your travel mug (formerly “Harvey”), who—yes, “who”—disappeared at a most inconvenient moment. Fifteen minutes later, when the aforementioned coffee mug rolls out from beneathContinue reading “A Word About Coffee Addicts”

Five GIFs that express the sensation of flying with sinus congestion

The title pretty much says it all. Visiting family for Christmas is a great delight; however, flying home with a head cold is more like: 1. Bubblegum about to explode 2. The Death Star exploding 3. Doc Ock losing control of his sun 4. The birth scene in the Alien movies 5. Priori Incantatem inContinue reading “Five GIFs that express the sensation of flying with sinus congestion”

I Was a Teenage Honda

My car, Sylvie, is a ripe eleven years old. For the most part, she is a sweet and docile southern lady, with just the right amount of spice to accelerate across three lanes of traffic should the need arise. I used to assume that car years translated to human years at approximately (C)(5.562) = (H).Continue reading “I Was a Teenage Honda”

But I Want One!

“But, Mom, I want one!” “I know, sweetheart, but with big things like this, it’s important to wait until the right time, and your dad and I don’t think you’re ready yet.” “But everyone else already has one!” “Just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it. If everyone elseContinue reading “But I Want One!”