There are a lot of people seeing red these days. Apart from the ugliness in the news, I seem to be allergic to my house—either that, or my frustration with politics is literally beginning to change my eye color. It’s not a fun situation, and it may require me to move yet again if it doesn’tContinue reading “Gratuitous”
Category Archives: Spinach in the Teeth of Life
Two-lane Roads Diverged
Driving through Virginia this week, I’m pretty sure I discovered why so many rural Americans voted for President Trump: it’s because they have had to follow two slow-as vehicles on a two-lane road. One you can handle. Two just make you long for anarchy. Everything feels stagnant, and any kind of change would be welcome.Continue reading “Two-lane Roads Diverged”
The threat of dead house plant
Geronimo is a big, beautiful, waxy green spathiphyllum* who is 3.5 feet tall and at least that wide. After some initial hesitation at his sheer size, I have grown to appreciate his presence in my tiny apartment. These plants are known to be easy care, long living, and helpful in purifying the air. The problemContinue reading “The threat of dead house plant”
Dear Me
Dear ten-year-old version of myself, Today I ate an entire yellow bell pepper for lunch because I’m an adult, and I can do what I want. There are some real advantages to this growing up business. Don’t get me wrong, the dire stories you hear about responsibility and paying bills and doing taxes are real.Continue reading “Dear Me”
Copyright and Copywrong
“It’s on the Internet, so it must be okay to use it.” Nooooooooooooooooo. As a long-time writer and blogger who currently works in the publishing industry, this has to be one of the most cringe-worthy statements I hear from fellow bloggers. And although most lawyers may be snarks, not all snarks are lawyers, so pleaseContinue reading “Copyright and Copywrong”
What’s Next?
*Yes, I’m back. But only just. It’s 2016, and I’m eating Ramen noodles for dinner. Pokemon is all the rage again. What’s next? These young people, they like to tell us that everything is changing, but I’m not fooled. History follows logical patterns, as any good conspiracy theorist knows, and this one is a taleContinue reading “What’s Next?”
Lady Sense and the Art of Shaving
Clipping coupons is dangerous if you are even moderately a feminist. Let me explain. I’ve posted before about my frustrations with advertising to ladies: Men and women communicate differently. Affirmative. Men and women can benefit from seminars targeted to their particular strengths and weaknesses. Affirmative. Funny thing: “Communication Skills for Men” does not exist. JustContinue reading “Lady Sense and the Art of Shaving”
A Little Snark with Your Chocolate?
This, in and of itself, advertised yesterday on the radio, is enough snark to last me for at least another month of winter. Thank you, Vermont Teddy Bears. The description. The description is killing me. You have to read it. Please note the thoughtful disclaimer: “Contains small parts. Not suitable for children.” That–and no otherContinue reading “A Little Snark with Your Chocolate?”
Conversation Tips for the South
Dear southern friends, I, like you, enjoy the crisp white transformation of the world that takes place when atmospheric water vapor crystallizes into a thousand unique flakes. I, like you, have heard that there is a high likelihood of snow on Wednesday. I, like you, find this a rare occurrence in good ‘ol southern NorthContinue reading “Conversation Tips for the South”
In Which North Carolina Panic(e)s
Today, a few droplets of water reached the magical temperature of 32 degrees Fahrenheit, a process that daily and deliberately takes place in domestic freezers all across the state. This occurrence in nature, however, causes North Carolina to panic en masse, raise the drawbridge, and proclaim an impending siege by nature herself. Signs of thisContinue reading “In Which North Carolina Panic(e)s”
Snark on the Side 