Dear Kindly IRS Agent,

Dear Kindly IRS Agent, I’m writing to present my case for a silent and all-too-common flaw in the U.S. tax code, causing thousands of dollars of misrepresented fiscal reporting and threatening the livelihoods of many a responsible taxpayer: namely, the failure to recognize horses as dependents. Before you object, allow me to explain. My horseContinue reading “Dear Kindly IRS Agent,”

This Pumpkin Is No Cinderella

La-di-da-de-dah, time to go to the pumpkin patch! Carving pumpkins is so much fun! If I could just–cut–out–the–stem– … … Ladies and Gentlemen: this is no ordinary pumpkin. This pumpkin has, in all likelihood, been genetically engineered to resist carving. Please observe the following cross-section:Note the absurdly thick rind. The dense flesh. The self-healing propertyContinue reading “This Pumpkin Is No Cinderella”


Merry Christmas!!! Today at the mall, doing my traditional Christmas Eve shopping and people-watching, a few things, as every year, caught my eye: 1) The number of adults leaning precariously over the railing to catch a glimpse of Santa on the floor below.2) The men – props to you – sitting and waiting on theContinue reading “…and…”

Happy Independence Day!

Happy Independence Day! Enjoy the fireworks! …and the watermelon seeds, and the crowds, and the hamburgers, and the ketchup on your favorite shirt, and everything else that makes the holiday special. Cheers!