How COVID stole Christmas (a parody)
On the first day of Christmas, adulthood gave to me…a dishwasher full of clean plates On the second day of Christmas, adulthood gave to me…unlimited museums On the third day of Christmas, adulthood gave to me…hole-free socks On the fourth day of Christmas, adulthood gave to me…sleeping in ’til 8 On the fifth day ofContinue reading “The 12 Gifts Adulthood Gave to Me”
On the second day of Christmas, my locale gave to me… Two aspirin and a deer crossing just before me.
Perhaps the secret I am about to reveal will not reflect well upon my character, but on this rainy, dreary Christmas Eve, I feel the need to share a last nibble of Snark before we all embark on the sugar-and-spice fest that is the holiday’s marketing spin. Here goes: I go shopping on Christmas Eve.Continue reading “Have a Snarky Christmas Eve!”
10. A pine needle trail that would make Hansel and Gretel proud. 9. A bin of empty bottles bearing the words “holiday” or “seasonal.” 8. Glitter, glitter everywhere. Everywhere. 7. A homemade wreath ten pounds heavier for all the wire holding it together. 6. A miniature Santa sharing mantel space with a jar of PixyContinue reading “10 Signs of Celebratory Success”
“But, Mom, I want one!” “I know, sweetheart, but with big things like this, it’s important to wait until the right time, and your dad and I don’t think you’re ready yet.” “But everyone else already has one!” “Just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it. If everyone elseContinue reading “But I Want One!”