Conversation Tips for the South

Dear southern friends,

I, like you, enjoy the crisp white transformation of the world that takes place when atmospheric water vapor crystallizes into a thousand unique flakes. I, like you, have heard that there is a high likelihood of snow on Wednesday. I, like you, find this a rare occurrence in good ‘ol southern North Carolina.

But.

The upcoming weather phenomenon has revealed a pressing need that I believe I can fill. With no further ado, I humbly submit,

Ten Things to Talk About Other Than Snow

1. The Olympics. Discuss.

Seriously. Crazy snowboarding aerials. Rumors of ice dancing scandals. Hotel bathrooms in Sochi.

2. Black History Month. Discuss.

National history. Famous figures. Rousing speeches. Landmark events. Modern-day implications.

3. Presidents’ Day. Discuss.

Dudes in wigs. Crumbling documents. Classical rhetoric.

4. Syria. Discuss.

International diplomacy. Heated debates. Entrenched conflicts.

5. Healthcare. Discuss.

All the things that all the ideologies love to hate out loud on the Internet. Seriously.

6. The Bill Nye / Ken Ham debate. Discuss.

I am suggesting that you talk about religion and politics. On purpose. Do you get the picture?

7. Academy Award predictions. Discuss.

Celebrity news. Something. Anything.

8. Daylight Savings Time. Discuss.

Currently 26 days away. In 2.5 hours, it will be 25 days away. In 26.5 hours…

9. The Broncos’ performance in the Super Bowl. Discuss.

Can you tell I’m getting desperate?

10. Valentine’s Day. Discuss if you dare.

For Pete’s sake, even this would be a welcome reprieve! What have I become?!

*Sigh*

*Sigh*

*Sigh*

snowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow

snowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow

snowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow

*Snark out.*

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

2 thoughts on “Conversation Tips for the South

  1. Awesome blog, Jen, and sooooo true. I find the very subject of weather to be most mundane, and a clear limit of intellect. Of course, you and I are both talking about it, so I wonder what this says about me…

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