It is true that I have been known to hold, concurrently, as many as four part-time jobs. I am comfortable wearing many different hats, as long as the wool one with the flaps over the ears is on the bottom and the pink straw Easter bonnet is second from the top. That being said, IContinue reading “The Girl of 100 Hats”
Author Archives: Jen
I’ve Got Sunshine: Blues, Beware!
Talk about a 180! Yesterday, the state of North Carolina was sealed in a gray plastic bag like the ones you get at WalMart (too many floating around after Black Friday, perhaps?). Today, the sun is out, the birds are singing, the sky is blue, and I am thrilled to be awake. It’s pretty great.Continue reading “I’ve Got Sunshine: Blues, Beware!”
But I Want One!
“But, Mom, I want one!” “I know, sweetheart, but with big things like this, it’s important to wait until the right time, and your dad and I don’t think you’re ready yet.” “But everyone else already has one!” “Just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it. If everyone elseContinue reading “But I Want One!”
Bonnie Strikes Back
As I have written before, driving with a GPS brings out the worst in me. My GPS goes by the name of Bonnie, and she has already been subjected to my gleeful Truman-esque escapes through the labyrinthine shopping center parking lots of suburban America. Little did I know that Bonnie, too, has a dark side.Continue reading “Bonnie Strikes Back”
Thanksgiving Punch
Annie and Grace always spent Thanksgiving together, but the year that they were ten, Grace noticed that something was different about Annie. “Why are your arms all hairy, and mine aren’t?” Grace asked. “Granny said hairy runs in my genes,” Annie announced nonchalantly. Grace looked puzzled. “What does that have to do with anything?” sheContinue reading “Thanksgiving Punch”
Redbox: A Bedtime Story
The last time I watched a movie from Redbox, it vanished mysteriously somewhere between the DVD player and the return item slot. (The Amazing Spider-Man was good, but not $25-lost-item-fee great.) Tormented by guilt over my gross negligence in this affair, I swore that it would never happen again. As a result, my most recentContinue reading “Redbox: A Bedtime Story”
I might run with this for a while…
Twinkie, twinkie, little bar How I wonder what you are Up there on the shelf so high Like a logjam in the sky Twinkie, twinkie, little bar How I wonder what you are.
In a Sunshine Coma
Sunshine comas. They’re a thing now. Trust me. A sunshine coma is akin to the food coma you get after eating thirds at Thanksgiving dinner. After sitting in a coffee shop with exposure to the winter sunshine for fifteen minutes, you want to lie on the carpet in another patch of sunshine and stay thereContinue reading “In a Sunshine Coma”
Amazon Is Not a Snark
Clearly, Amazon does not understand sarcasm. If they did, they would know that I had visited a certain item page solely to read the snarky reviews, and they would not have sent me this list of email recommendations to start off my morning: Thank you, Amazon and BIC. As you well know, and as theContinue reading “Amazon Is Not a Snark”
Concerning Consumer Safety
A weighty question has been on my mind since last night. It is a question that has troubled the great thinkers of the world since ages past. Drum roll, please. Why does every gasoline station feel it necessary to warn consumers not, under any circumstances, to siphon gasoline using their mouths? I’m sure there’s anContinue reading “Concerning Consumer Safety”
Snark on the Side 