“But, Mom, I want one!”
“I know, sweetheart, but with big things like this, it’s important to wait until the right time, and your dad and I don’t think you’re ready yet.”
“But everyone else already has one!”
“Just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it. If everyone else were jumping off a bridge, would you do it, too?”
“It’s not the same at all, and you know it.”
“It’s just an example, dear.”
“You never let me do anything fun!”
“That’s not true.”
“Is too. By the time you let me do anything fun, I won’t even be able to enjoy it.”
“That’s not true. You’ll have plenty of time to enjoy it, and waiting will just make it more special when it’s finally the right time.”
“It’s not fair. You’re ruining my life!”
“I think you’ll survive.”
“But I feel naked without one! I look like a freak!”
“You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
“You guys are so mean.”
“You’ll understand why we’re doing this some day.”
“I hate you.”
—
And with that, poor little Judy Jeep squealed out of the cul-de-sac and into her garage, swearing that she would never show her windshield on the interstate again until she was allowed to buy a Christmas tree for her roof rack.
Snark on the Side 