Redbox: A Bedtime Story

The last time I watched a movie from Redbox, it vanished mysteriously somewhere between the DVD player and the return item slot. (The Amazing Spider-Man was good, but not $25-lost-item-fee great.) Tormented by guilt over my gross negligence in this affair, I swore that it would never happen again.

As a result, my most recent engagement with Movie & game rentals made easy! THE NEWEST AND MOST POPULAR MOVIES FOR A LOW DAILY RATE had a slightly different flavor. In fact, in the aftermath, I’ve decided that this encounter would make an excellent children’s book.

Thus, I bring you:

—–Redbox: A Bedtime Story—–

It’s a winter evening.

Jen wants to watch a movie.

What should she do? Let’s go to Redbox!

There are so many choices.

Vampires, strippers, and Edgar Allan Poe:

How will Jen ever decide?

Let’s watch Rock of Ages.

Tom Cruise is lots of fun.

I like to watch him dance.

The movie’s done!

Where is the Redbox? The Redbox is on the table.

It’s time for bed.

Good morning, sunshine!

Where is the Redbox? The Redbox is on the table.

It’s time for work.

Let’s drive to a coffee shop.

Where is the Redbox? The Redbox is on the front seat.

Don’t forget the Redbox.

That coffee sure was delicious.

Where is the Redbox? The Redbox is in the car.

Don’t forget the Redbox.

Oh, look! A CVS.

Where is the Redbox? The Redbox is in Jen’s bag.

It’s time to return the Redbox.

We’re at the Redbox. Return movie now!

Where is the Redbox? The Redbox is sliding into the slot.

Hooray! The Redbox made it home safely.

It’s a winter afternoon.

Jen wants to watch a movie.

Not today, Jen. Redboxes are too much work.

Let’s read a book instead.

The end.

—–

I would read that book. Now all I need is a good illustrator…volunteers?

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English major, a southern liberal, and an employed young adult with a master’s degree. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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