10 Signs of Celebratory Success

10. A pine needle trail that would make Hansel and Gretel proud.

9. A bin of empty bottles bearing the words “holiday” or “seasonal.”

8. Glitter, glitter everywhere. Everywhere.

7. A homemade wreath ten pounds heavier for all the wire holding it together.

6. A miniature Santa sharing mantel space with a jar of Pixy Stix.

5. An entire menu of recipes calling for sour cream, cheese, and melted butter.

4. Call-and-response snark that you could understand if you spoke penny whistle.

3. A Vincent Price poster wearing a snappy sprig of holly behind one ear.

2. A moment of silence on tree lighting, while this guy serenades in the background.

1. Late-night harmonizing kazoo duets. It doesn’t get any better than this.


Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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