10. A pine needle trail that would make Hansel and Gretel proud.
9. A bin of empty bottles bearing the words “holiday” or “seasonal.”
8. Glitter, glitter everywhere. Everywhere.
7. A homemade wreath ten pounds heavier for all the wire holding it together.
6. A miniature Santa sharing mantel space with a jar of Pixy Stix.
5. An entire menu of recipes calling for sour cream, cheese, and melted butter.
4. Call-and-response snark that you could understand if you spoke penny whistle.
3. A Vincent Price poster wearing a snappy sprig of holly behind one ear.
2. A moment of silence on tree lighting, while this guy serenades in the background.
1. Late-night harmonizing kazoo duets. It doesn’t get any better than this.