The Snark is back! (As I have written before, the summertime Snark retracts its claws, curls up on a sunny beach, and purrs for the bulk of July and August. September has just enough bite in the air to stir the Snark back to an active and crotchety state.) A new word has been addedContinue reading “In-desk-ribable”
Category Archives: Working Life
Oh Where, Oh Where
Wanted: one brain, of moderate intelligence. Last seen: somewhere in the Sandhills region, not quite a week ago. Reward: the preservation of the unlucky humans who chance to come in contact with its owner. Oh where, oh where Has my little brain gone? Oh where, oh where can it be? With my pons in strifeContinue reading “Oh Where, Oh Where”
Happy Fourth of Julenteen!
…from Vincent Price. “I sometimes feel that I’m impersonating the dark unconscious of the whole human race. I know this sounds sick, but I love it.” “In art, religion, and politics the respect must be mutual, no matter how violent the disagreement.” “Right now I am thinking of writing another cookbook. All cookbooks have aContinue reading “Happy Fourth of Julenteen!”
Success! Vacation!
The Snark is back! Friends, I did not realize how difficult it can be to take a vacation until I had the glorious opportunity, recently, to take a week-long beach trip with some of my closest friends. I spent the week hobnobbing with Hogarth, a seagull with an extraordinary homing device for sour cream andContinue reading “Success! Vacation!”
Occlumency for Sleep Talkers
“Occlumency, Potter. The magical defense of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one.” –Professor Snape (Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) One ominous night in fourth grade, I confronted my mother at 3a.m. to demand why my guinea pig was not on the bookshelfContinue reading “Occlumency for Sleep Talkers”
The Fate of a Happy Snark
There is a bird singing outside my “office” window as I sit in a patch of sunshine at the end of another business day. Three hours of daylight remain. Do you know how dangerous these conditions are for the embattled race of snarks? Every time a child eats an ice cream cone while holding aContinue reading “The Fate of a Happy Snark”
The Revenge of the Fish
I love Goldfish® crackers. I love them in a bag. I love them in a box. I love them in a carton. I love them in the multi-p(ox).* But, apparently, Goldfish® crackers do not suffer forever the rampant gormandizing of our species. Sometimes, they fight back. Yesterday, I fell victim to one such attack. ItContinue reading “The Revenge of the Fish”
I Was a Teenage Honda
My car, Sylvie, is a ripe eleven years old. For the most part, she is a sweet and docile southern lady, with just the right amount of spice to accelerate across three lanes of traffic should the need arise. I used to assume that car years translated to human years at approximately (C)(5.562) = (H).Continue reading “I Was a Teenage Honda”
Spinach in the Teeth of Life
I wish I could have been around for the meeting when some aspiring superstore organizer decided that the matches should be shelved not with the kitchen supplies, not with the camping gear, not with the candles, not with the butane lighters or the grilling tools, but next to the toothpicks. “Hey, you know what? BothContinue reading “Spinach in the Teeth of Life”
Some Gums that I Used to Know
Dear Dentists of the World, Today, I went to the dentist’s office after a five-year absence. Needless to say, I was nervous. It did not help that I had forgotten how to get to the office and had to call for directions, arriving late for my appointment. When I walked in, I tried to relaxContinue reading “Some Gums that I Used to Know”
Snark on the Side 