Have a Snarky Christmas Eve!

Perhaps the secret I am about to reveal will not reflect well upon my character, but on this rainy, dreary Christmas Eve, I feel the need to share a last nibble of Snark before we all embark on the sugar-and-spice fest that is the holiday’s marketing spin. Here goes: I go shopping on Christmas Eve.Continue reading “Have a Snarky Christmas Eve!”

I’ve Got Sunshine: Blues, Beware!

Talk about a 180! Yesterday, the state of North Carolina was sealed in a gray plastic bag like the ones you get at WalMart (too many floating around after Black Friday, perhaps?). Today, the sun is out, the birds are singing, the sky is blue, and I am thrilled to be awake. It’s pretty great.Continue reading “I’ve Got Sunshine: Blues, Beware!”

But I Want One!

“But, Mom, I want one!” “I know, sweetheart, but with big things like this, it’s important to wait until the right time, and your dad and I don’t think you’re ready yet.” “But everyone else already has one!” “Just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it. If everyone elseContinue reading “But I Want One!”

Thanksgiving Punch

Annie and Grace always spent Thanksgiving together, but the year that they were ten, Grace noticed that something was different about Annie. “Why are your arms all hairy, and mine aren’t?” Grace asked. “Granny said hairy runs in my genes,” Annie announced nonchalantly. Grace looked puzzled. “What does that have to do with anything?” sheContinue reading “Thanksgiving Punch”

In a Sunshine Coma

Sunshine comas. They’re a thing now. Trust me. A sunshine coma is akin to the food coma you get after eating thirds at Thanksgiving dinner. After sitting in a coffee shop with exposure to the winter sunshine for fifteen minutes, you want to lie on the carpet in another patch of sunshine and stay thereContinue reading “In a Sunshine Coma”

Concerning Consumer Safety

A weighty question has been on my mind since last night. It is a question that has troubled the great thinkers of the world since ages past. Drum roll, please. Why does every gasoline station feel it necessary to warn consumers not, under any circumstances, to siphon gasoline using their mouths? I’m sure there’s anContinue reading “Concerning Consumer Safety”

The Story Addict

In my humble opinion, the best conversations last for at least an hour and conclude with a handshake and, “My name is Jen, by the way.” That is, if you are a certified story addict like I am. Whether talking about Peter the Great, the Great Depression, and the harems of ancient Persia with anContinue reading “The Story Addict”

The Perks of Falling Back

Last night while I was sleeping, the clocks crossed over to the Dark Side and returned to standard time. Ambitious early birds (are you really going to trust someone who thinks worms are a tasty treat?) may be thrilled by the extra hour of light, and to them I say, “Good for you. Savor thatContinue reading “The Perks of Falling Back”

Dream a Little Dream of Me

The mental health experts would have a field day with this one…  Scenario: The dear cat of the house encounters the crazy about 5:30 a.m. and begins running suicides across the house, ending each one by slamming against my bedroom door. Subsequently, I have a vivid, memorable dream that I am attempting to recoup, amongContinue reading “Dream a Little Dream of Me”