Category Archives: Literary Love

I Can’t Wear Pants Anymore.

This past week has been taken to another hemisphere by the hoard of itty bitty ants that decided to colonize my ceiling light fixture in their attempt to escape from the weekend rains. It might take a few more metaphors to describe my loathing for the tiny Coast-Guard-rescue-swimmer wannabees who spent the week BASE jumpingContinue reading “I Can’t Wear Pants Anymore.”

What Happens to a Snark in Winter?

When you see how the snark shivers sad in the cold, It makes you forget all your woe. With his claws clenched in tight and his fur fluffing bold, the snark is a summertime foe. Evr’y feather a-quiver, each toe tucked away, he waits for the warmth to return. He’s no comeback to offer, noContinue reading “What Happens to a Snark in Winter?”

Poor Richard’s Bones

Today is a big day for Shakespeareans and other early modernists: Richard III dig: DNA confirms bones are king’s. The skeleton provides a great deal of tentative information about Richard’s physique (scoliosis, yes; withered arm, probably not) and also his death. His skeleton had suffered 10 injuries, including eight to the skull, at around theContinue reading “Poor Richard’s Bones”

The Twelfth Day of Christmas

(also known as Twelfth Night) (Shakespeare) (!!!) On the twelfth day of Christmas, my locale gave to me… Twelve mindless blog posts Eleven ’13 planners Ten freezing fingers Nine more to-do lists Eight resolutions Seven Frisbee bruises Six mountain mouse heads Five RayLen wines Four to-do lists Three deadlines Two aspirin and a deer crossingContinue reading “The Twelfth Day of Christmas”

My Personal Fiscal Cliff

All day today, the financial world has been on Pinterest pins and pine needles about the outcome of the so-called “fiscal cliff” stipulated by Congress in the Budget Control Act of 2011 (automatic spending cuts and tax increases that go into effect at midnight). This poses a dilemma for the author of Snark on theContinue reading “My Personal Fiscal Cliff”

Redbox: A Bedtime Story

The last time I watched a movie from Redbox, it vanished mysteriously somewhere between the DVD player and the return item slot. (The Amazing Spider-Man was good, but not $25-lost-item-fee great.) Tormented by guilt over my gross negligence in this affair, I swore that it would never happen again. As a result, my most recentContinue reading “Redbox: A Bedtime Story”

Amazon Is Not a Snark

Clearly, Amazon does not understand sarcasm. If they did, they would know that I had visited a certain item page solely to read the snarky reviews, and they would not have sent me this list of email recommendations to start off my morning: Thank you, Amazon and BIC. As you well know, and as theContinue reading “Amazon Is Not a Snark”

On Lying in Bed

G.K. Chesterton, sometimes you just get it right. Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling. This, however, is not generally a part of the domestic apparatus on the premises. […] Misers get up early in the morning;Continue reading “On Lying in Bed”