Keep Breathing

Dearest lungs of mine,

Please know that in this I mean no offense. I know you are doing your job, and I greatly appreciate your efforts to clear out the remains of my Thanksgiving illness.

I just wanted to let you know that I’m very much looking forward to the moment when I can take a deep breath without a murderous fit of coughing that leads me to believe that you are trying to escape my body.

I’m really not the jealous type. Just a bit possessive. That’s all.

Love,
Jen

Symptoms

Do you ever have those days when you just feel incompetent, no matter how many things you do well?

Symptoms of one of those days:

  • Failing to check off one of the two items on your to-do list
  • Being late to a tutoring session
  • Spilling tea on your pants
  • Handing the wrong exact change to a cashier
  • Opening a box of Christmas ornaments too quickly and spraying glitter all over your face
  • Hitting yourself in the face when slamming (palming, Allen Iverson-style) the lid of an industrial recycling bin
  • Jamming the tape dispenser five times in a row
  • Getting a hand cart stuck on the door sill, ramming it into your shin, then running over your foot with it
  • Tossing empty boxes toward the recycling area, only to have the wind pick them up and fling them all over the parking lot
  • Dropping handfuls of neatly stacked papers all over the floor
  • Having to look up the terms “hand cart,” “door sill,” “palming,” and “recycling bin” because your brain refuses to think of them on its own

All purely hypothetical, of course.

Right.

You Know You’re Paranoid If…

…you’re applying for a PhD in English and you feel a strong urge to comment on the web application’s poor grammar because you fear that failure to do so might be one of the school’s initial justifications for disqualifying candidates.

Get a grip, self.

But still, really, ApplyYourself.

Happy Black Friday!

Submit Application?

PhD Applications Status – round 3

  • Submitted: 1
  • To go: 7

Map forthcoming.

Submitting an application nine days before it is due seems so extravagant. And risky.

Hitting the “submit” button is one of the most terrifying sensations in a graduate student’s life.

That being said, graduate students need to acquire some perspective.

Making a list, checking it concurrently

Sometimes, getting through Monday involves a little creative finagling of productivity tools.

Rather than making a checklist, I’m making a list of all the things I have already accomplished this morning.

Today, I:

  • Heard the alarm clock.
  • Got out of bed.
  • Made the bed.
  • Did something with my hair.
  • Cleaned my room, including the stack of birthday cards on the dresser.
  • Paid bills.
  • Killed a cricket that jumped from the closet ONTO MY FOOT.
  • Ate breakfast.
  • Sent an email.
  • Opened the blinds in the house.
  • Watered my plant.
  • Washed dishes.
  • Gathered laundry to wash.
  • Made a revised budget.

Not bad!

(The things I have not accomplished are on another list, one that has a far less cheering effect.)