How do you solve a problem like millennials?

(It’s not quite the Von Trapps or Margery McKay, but it’ll do. #nerd)

maria-thumb1-540x362How do you solve a problem like millennials?
How do you catch their eye and sell them stuff?
How do you find a word that means millennial:
a narcissist man-child? a delicate flower? our pride?

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell them.
Many a thing they ought to understand!
But how do you make them stay
and fill out your last survey?
How do you keep them focused on a job?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like millennials?
How do you choose emojis for your ads?

When I’m with them I’m confused:
do they focus? are they rude?
and I never know exactly who they are.

–Just as timely as a lunch break,
they’re as fragile as a snowflake
–They’re the future!
–They’re our downfall!
–They’re the best!

–They’d out-Twitter any bird;
drive a hashtag as a #nerd.
–They could crash a social platform with a friend.

–They are driven; they are fine,
–They’re a riddle; they’re just Vine.
–They’re a headache!
–They’re all angels!

–They’re a trend!

How do you solve a problem like millennials?
How do you catch their eye and sell them stuff?
How do you find a word that means millennial:
a narcissist man-child? a delicate flower? our pride?

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell them.
Many a thing they ought to understand!
But how do you make them stay
and fill out your last survey?
How do you keep them focused on a job?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like millennials?
How do you put your craft beer in their hands?

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesnโ€™t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

2 thoughts on “How do you solve a problem like millennials?

  1. I think this is your best one yet-published at least. My favorite is still about the member party. I love your creativity. #jelly

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