Wine Not?

Raffaldini VineyardsOver the weekend, I headed outside the city to attend Raffaldini Vineyards’ Assemblaggio! Grande Riserva Trials. Wine blending? Why not?

For two hours, our group enjoyed the good company, savory wines, beautiful scenery, and lots of the laughter that accompanies untrained, amateur wine blending.

As part of the trial, each group had to invent a name for their new red blend. Although I won’t reveal our final choice, I know that English majors everywhere are cringing at the thought of the puns I kept to myself.

Here are some of the names that did not quite fit the day’s wine creations (wrong grapes, wrong regions, or just plain wrong):

  • Spamerlot a bright English red, well-rounded, with a smooth finish.
  • Gren-and-BarberritFrance and Italy come together in this spicy blend.
  • Chamber Saintin this blushing rosé, it’s Chambourcin on the other side of purgatory.
  • Temprature Controllothis Spanish and Italian red blend warms you from head to toe.
  • Raisins d’êtrebbiano*don’t let this introverted white wine fool you, she’s as metaphysical as they come.
  • Shakespeare’s Romerlota deep ruby wine with heavy tannins enough to pull the life from your lips.

*Not to borrow from the comic book band name.

This is what happens when they give me free roam of the words. All Othello breaks loose.


Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

One thought on “Wine Not?

  1. I did the wine blending a few years ago at Raffaldini. Met some great people that I am still in touch with via social media. One gentleman at our table actually knew what he was doing so our final wine turned out really good. I miss not having local wineries to hang out at.

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