Wine Not?

Over the weekend, I headed outside the city to attend Raffaldini Vineyards’ Assemblaggio! Grande Riserva Trials. Wine blending? Why not?

For two hours, our group enjoyed the good company, savory wines, beautiful scenery, and lots of the laughter that accompanies untrained, amateur wine blending.

As part of the trial, each group had to invent a name for their new red blend. Although I won’t reveal our final choice, I know that English majors everywhere are cringing at the thought of the puns I kept to myself.

Here are some of the names that did not quite fit the day’s wine creations (wrong grapes, wrong regions, or just plain wrong):

• Spamerlot – a bright English red, well-rounded, with a smooth finish.
• Gren-and-Barberrit – France and Italy come together in this spicy blend.
• Chamber Saint – in this blushing rosé, it’s Chambourcin on the other side of purgatory.
• Temprature Controllo – this Spanish and Italian red blend warms you from head to toe.
• Raisins d’êtrebbiano* – don’t let this introverted white wine fool you, she’s as metaphysical as they come.
• Shakespeare’s Romerlot – a deep ruby wine with heavy tannins enough to pull the life from your lips.

*Not to borrow from the comic book band name.

This is what happens when they give me free roam of the words. All Othello breaks loose.