I’ve put this off for a long time, but I think it’s time to introduce you to my phone. No matter how short-lived her remaining days may be, she’s starting to act a great deal like Marvin and Linus, a fact which entitles her to be anthropomorphized.
She’s like a grouchy great-aunt who is staying with you for the holidays and glares at you for talking on the phone, however quietly, for more than fifteen minutes at a time in any place wherein your face is visible to any other human, then peremptorily walks over, snatches the phone, and hangs up without waiting for you to finish your conversation.
To begin with, she has recently instituted a ten-minute phone conversation limit unless I am restricted to the length of a charger power cord. Furthermore, she decides (arbitrarily and with finality) which text messages I am allowed to receive and discards others at will or confiscates them indefinitely.
She’s quite a charmer.
I named her Viki.