The Ultimate Alternative Career

1

January 26, 2012 by Jen

As the impatience to hear the outcome of my graduate applications builds, I’m happy to announce that I have discovered the perfect alternative career should my academic aspirations fail to materialize.

How, you may ask, did I achieve this gargantuan feat?

I began by cataloging my demonstrable skills and passions:

  • Researching obscure and esoteric facts.
  • Correcting others’ errors.
  • Assisting with organization and planning.
  • Debating unimportant details and rules.
  • Taking instructions.
  • Remembering details about people, past conversations, and hypothetical plans.
  • Reading aloud.
  • Being introverted, and just listening until directly addressed.
  • Acting as a sounding board for others’ ideas.
  • Figuring out what people want/need to hear in a given situation.
  • Misinterpreting nonverbal cues.
  • Providing snarky retorts to non sequitur comments.
  • Falling down at inopportune moments.

Before long, the only possible conclusion became clear.

I’m sure you know what I mean.

It’s obvious, right?

If I don’t get into grad school, there is only one thing left to do.

I shall become Siri.
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One thought on “The Ultimate Alternative Career

  1. Carrie Liz says:

    all but autumnal, clearly. go jen go!

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