Allow Me to Introduce… (pt.2)

Giving Orlando an introduction would be easier if s/he weren’t so socially awkward.

“It can’t be that difficult,” you might be saying. Well, think again. The last time we went to a party together, it went down something like this…*


This is my friend Orla–

Hi, I’m very interested in heteroglossia and the dialogization of travel narratives through their translation into dramatic form.

Ah, sure. Well, I think I need some more punch. Nice to meet you.

Hi, I’d like to introduce you to Or–

Which definition of tragicomedy do you find most instructive? Sidney’s or Fletcher’s?

I think I hear someone calling me. Be right back.

Hey, this is Orlando.

So. I heard you talking about your trip last summer. Did you realize that by telling that story you’re contributing to a nationalist discourse that renders foreigners nothing more than metaphors for your domestic anxieties?

How rude. This is a friend of yours?

Well…it’s complicated.

Good luck with that.

::sigh:: Orlando, I can’t take you anywhere.

What? What did I do?

Never mind.


*Obviously this is hypothetical, because graduate students don’t have time to go to parties.

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

%d bloggers like this: