Welcome weird spring/summer weather. Please stop raining pollen on everything. I need to be able to see to write papers, and Kleenex is pricey stuff.
The drug companies that make allergy medicines can’t be paying you that big of a bribe, can they? I’m sure I could match them if I took up a collection. (…beyond the obvious problem that letters addressed to the weather probably end up in Santa’s mailbag and merely give the postal workers a good laugh.)
If you keep this up, I will have to become smarter, as in remembering to roll up my car windows overnight to keep the pollen limited to the outside of the car.
That is all.
Snark on the Side 
The best part about the sporadic yet heavy spring and summer rainstorms = free car wash. No more pollen on my car!