If you give a Musk a chainsaw, he’s going to ask for a special post.
When you give him the post, he’ll probably ask you for a badge.
When he’s finished, he’ll ask you for the checkbook.
Then he’ll want to look in the records to make sure he doesn’t have any critics.
When he looks in the records, he might notice his company is up for audit.
So he’ll probably ask for a pair of pink slips.
When he’s finished laying off the auditors, he’ll want an excuse to cover it up.
He’ll keep firing.
He might get carried away and fire every post in D.C.
He may even end up closing the parks as well!
When he’s done, he’ll probably want to take a nap.
You’ll have to fix up a little office for him with a cot and a pillow.
He’ll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fling salutes a few times.
He’ll probably ask you to read him the headlines.
So you’ll read to him from one of your feeds, and he’ll ask to see the comments.
When he looks at the comments, he’ll get so enraged that he’ll want to send a reply on X.
Then he’ll want to mandate his story be seen by everyone.
Which means he’ll need media.
He’ll publish his story and stand back to look at it.
Looking at Congress will remind him that he’s powerhungry.
So…he’ll ask for another post.
And chances are if he asks you for a special post, he’s going to want a chainsaw to go with it.
Snark on the Side 