The Woman Behind the Curtain

July 19, 2013 by Jen

Perhaps The Wizard of Oz was on my mind this week because I finally had the opportunity to watch Oz the Great and Powerful (James Franco, Michelle Williams, Mila Kunis) last weekend. At least, that’s what I like to think.

Whatever the reason, last night, a regrettable sequence of events gave new meaning to the famous line, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”

It had been a busy week for our heroine—let’s call her ‘Enjay’—and in the course of surviving it, some of her good habits had lapsed: habits such as, you know, well, eating meals at regular times, NOT drinking five cups of coffee in one afternoon, and the like.

On Thursday, when 5:30 rolled around, she set off for Ultimate Frisbee practice, having consumed at least five cups of coffee that day, having drunk very little water, and having not yet eaten dinner. All logical decisions, right?

8:00 rolled around. Practice was over, and she was feeling pretty spent. So what did this smart, Master’s degree-educated woman do? Not, go home and eat dinner like a (relatively) normal person. Not, chug 40 oz. of water to rehydrate. Oh no. She decided to go swing dancing at a local pub.

10:00 rolled around. Her feet hurt, but she had enjoyed reconnecting with friends and bustin’ out a move or two on the dance floor. Heart full, body tired, she headed home, desperately in need of a shower.

10:30. In the process of de-stinkifying. Slightly light-headed, but not too concerned about it. Floor of the shower stall gets soapy. Not paying attention. One foot lands on the base of the overly long shower curtain. Slow motion: “Am I really falling sideways? So tired. I’ll catch my balance here in a second. Nope. Still tumbling. Foot can’t slide any further that direction. Momentum. There goes the shower curtain. @$&*.”


Maniacal laughter.

Pay no attention to that woman beneath the shower curtain.

No, really. Just ignore her. Better decisions next week.

"Hunting of the Snark"

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email.


Top Posts & Pages



Hyperbole and a Half

Bringing you a slice of life, with a healthy serving of snark on the side

The Snarkist

Advice you probably don't want

Vintage Ramblins

Thoughts on the Road

Gracious Living in a Zombie World: A Ladies’ Handbook

Why just survive when you can thrive?

Christ! Xmas

all about Christmas and Santa.

Break Room Stories

Service Industry Stories and More Since 2012


a blog written by the intern at winston-salem's a/perture cinema.


Bringing you a slice of life, with a healthy serving of snark on the side


easy reading is damn hard writing

Rachel Poli

I read. I write. I create.


Photographs from my world.

A Commonplace Blog

Bringing you a slice of life, with a healthy serving of snark on the side

Tales from the Reading Room

A Literary Salon Where All Are Welcome


Bringing you a slice of life, with a healthy serving of snark on the side

Red Wine Diva

It's a Wine Life: Musings and Tastings

%d bloggers like this: