Proverbial Wisdom (3)

One cannot geographically demarcate the sphere of influence for physical rules that are not related to physical space or geography. Furthermore, any potential sphere of protection provided by a geographically delimited space does not travel with individuals once they leave said space.

The fair comes to town and sets up within its high-arched gates and spiked fences. Outside are traffic cones and high-priced parking. Inside is magical: lights, animals, barkers, rides, and so much more. Within this space, the fairgrounds have been transformed. Don’t forget the food. Two words: deep fried. Kool-Aid? Deep fry it. Cheesecake? Coat it in chocolate, then deep fry it. Bread dough? Drizzle it into hot oil, fry it, then coat it in powdered sugar. Potatoes? Pshaw, we did that in March. This is October, y’all. Let’s fry some lasagna and macaroni and cheese and place a hamburger between two doughnuts. One might be led to think that within this magical world normal rules of of culinary and digestive health do not apply. One might be wrong.

Culinary and digestive health are not fooled by the gleaming archway, and once you step outside that gate, you are on your own to reckon with your stomach. So, reconsider, “I might just skip straight to the funnel cake” on an empty stomach. Right now, inside those magical archways, you might. But at 2:30 in the morning, you might never be skipping again.

Lesson learned, proverb. Lesson learned.


Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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