Decal Art

This week, I officially became an alumna of the graduate school. That meant getting my alumni library card and an alumni parking pass. What I didn’t realize was that it also meant being inducted into the secret society of new art at the university.

The following scenario ensued when I entered Parking Management:

::standing in line while a recent graduate tries to argue his way out of multiple parking tickets past appeal deadline::
::more standing in line::
::he’s still arguing::
::pulling out the “I could just have left without ever paying these” card::
::response: the “not if you ever want your transcripts” card::
::bam. I smell defeat::
::okay, he’s gone::
::note to self: I would not want their job::

“Hi, I just graduated and would like an alumni parking permit – what do I do?”
“Bring in your front and rear parking decals.”

::removal of front decal: check.::
::removal of rear decal: umm…::
::after ten minutes, decal detaches in 1/4 cm increments::
::uh-oh::
::shrug.::

::carrying front decal and small sticky clump of detritus from rear decal back into the office::
::sheepish grin::
“Hi, I’m back – the front decal came off without a problem, but the back one…”
::holding out scraps with an attempt at humor::

::parking management lady takes scraps::
::wait, what?::

“That’s fine.”
::tapes front decal and wad of scraps to the back of alumni application::
“Fill this out.”

::shrug::
::kind of hard to write on top of such an uneven surface::
::but done.::

“Here you go.”
::and check.::

Universities. Creating new sensations in mosaic art one decimated parking decal at a time.

Guess I’m really an alumna now.

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English major, a southern liberal, and an employed young adult with a master’s degree. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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