I, the Optimist

There’s something to be said for the intense optimism that follows sickness:

Why yes, I can read three books in a day and a half. It only takes me 4 minutes to read a page: (4 x 450 pages = 1800 minutes = 30 hours). That’s 6 leftover hours!

Why no, computer, I’m not offended that you just ATE the thirty pages I spent an hour scanning. And then ate the 10 pages I spent another 20 minutes re-scanning.

You see, I can breathe through both my nostrils at the same time, and I can chuckle–without having a coughing fit–at the chipmunk frolicking outside my window and eating my basil plants. I can walk up the stairs twice in a row without breaking into a sweat, and I can taste the food I made for dinner.

So go ahead, technology. Plot your worst. Go ahead, workload, be your…normal self. I’m not afraid of you. I can do anything.

So maybe, in retrospect, I’m still a trifle feverish.

C’est la vie.


Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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