Well, it’s happening again. Year two of my M.A. in English has officially begun. I celebrated by discovering that I now associate the smell of the library, especially the study rooms, with David Lynch. When that happened, I have no idea.
As befits another school year, I have immediately commenced making long-winded and ridiculous resolutions that will be broken .2 seconds after I receive my first assignment. Nonetheless, for your reading pleasure, I present,
Resolutions to which Every Studious Overachieving Learner Under Thirty Is Obliged to Nominally Subscribe*
1) I will not, will not give in to the lure of Starbucks before every 3 p.m., 2.5 hour class.
2) Projects will not, will not be completed the night before they are due.**
3) I will bring an umbrella to school on rainy days.***
4) I will not, will not use Facebook as a reward for every sentence I type.
5) I will not, will not allow the stairs to have the last word.****
Sounds pretty straightforward, right? I can do this. I can. Really. Go. Done.
…
Right.
*Did you notice that amazing split infinitive? Mwahahaha
**Notice the lovely ambiguity that allows projects to be still incomplete the night (and morning) before they are due…
***But may leave it in the car.
****Even if all I get to add is “ouch.”
Snark on the Side 