Goodbye, Auckland (take 2)

To my dear (now-ex) roommates,

Thank you for apologizing when you turned on the lights at midnight and entered en masse. No thanks for subsequently continuing to party for another hour.

Thank you for not “waking me up” to show me the pictures in your porn magazine. No thanks for narrating the pictures in a loud voice.

Thank you for not spilling vodka on my bag and leaving the room before lighting your cigarettes. No thanks for sitting on my weet-bix (cereal) box.

I’m honored that you think of me as a “whole/old” person. On the whole, shall we say, it was a pleasure knowing you.

Cheers,

Jen

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Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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