Paper, go write yourself.
Somehow I feel very rude saying that. And yet if I were writing it in Latin, I would use the subjunctive in its optative sense: Paper, would that you would write yourself. Not rude at all.
Utinam haec charta se scribeat.
Je voudrais que mon essai s’ecrive.
Or something like that.
Argh. I like graduate school. Really, I do. Just not over spring break. Or on Saturdays.