Google Knows What I Need

Because it’s all the rage on Facebook to pass around funny surveys, I’ve decided to skip Facebook and bring this one straight to the blog.

The scoop: Google ” ~ needs,” inserting your first name for the tilde. Write down the first 10 different phrases that pop up. 
Just for kicks, and to see how well Google really knows me. It’s a little frightening, actually. My Google horoscope/fortune cookie is thus:
  1. Jen needs a session or two with a therapist.
  2. Jen needs a break.
  3. Jen needs a muzzle.
  4. Jen needs to a get a grip on her life. 
  5. Jen needs to find a self-righteous, conspicuous, “I’m better than you” charitable position so she can keep charming the sheep into thinking she matters.
  6. Jen needs to wise up.
  7. Jen needs human anatomy lessons.
  8. Jen needs cheering up.
  9. Jen needs to get off Facebook.
  10. Jen needs you. 
1 – yep, probably. 2 – hear, hear! 3 – okay… 4 – I think I have a stranglehold already, actually. 5 – you can’t beat that for a fortune cookie, let’s be honest. 6 – probably true. 7 – um, no thanks. 8 – sometimes. 9 – absolutely 100% true. 10 – you know it :-). 

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English major, a southern liberal, and an employed young adult with a master’s degree. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

One thought on “Google Knows What I Need

  1. haha!Here’s mine1. Allison needs a loving home2. Allison needs to get laid3. Allison needs ________ (it’s true that’s what came up)4. Allison needs more good farmers to grow corn, wheat, rye (seriously it came up!)5. Allison needs office space6. Allison needs a nickname7. Allison needs your prayers8. Allison needs your help9. Allison needs to buy 12 fish10. Allison needs a little help from the beauty shopMine’s more random i believe….

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