ISO a UNICORN

Posted byJenPosted inUncategorized

ISO a UNICORN this Christmas—primary for play and pleasure: obstacles, baby dressage, rides around the farm. Should be easygoing and willing to stand around for long grooming sessions.

Doesn’t have to be bombproof, but MUST be able to take a joke. Confidence-builder type. Should be the same whether riding every day or with a few weeks off. Soft, light, balanced, SOUND.

16.1- 17hh preferred—any taller does a number on my back. Between 25 and 40; no greenies, please. Woman preferred, but the right man will be considered. Absolutely no OTCHs*; I love them, they’re very special, but I just can’t do that level of jittery energy at my age.

Reasonable maintenance (ibuprofen, voltaren) is to be expected: clean X-rays will be required. Good feet are a must—nothing that bruises if you take a wrong step. 

Budget 4carrots.** 

Not in a rush. Current partner continues to supply (somewhat inadequate) snacks for now. 

Sincerely,

#VerdicttheHorse

* Off the Corporate Hustles

**Literally 4. Unless I can steal more. 

—

Dammit, V. Looks like someone took a hack with my account again…

#JentheHuman

Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

2 thoughts on “ISO a UNICORN”

  1. Verdict is adept at the keyboard. Most humans have a difficult task of it, but V seems to have excellent keyboard-to-hoof abilities.

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