A Battle of Wits: NAV 101

“Truman. Truman, that’s our turnoff.”

“I changed my mind. What’s New Orleans like this time of year? Mardi Gras, woooooo! Ha ha ha ha ha! Hoo hoo hoo! Whoooohoo! Look, Meryl! Same road, no cars. It’s magic! Hahaha!”

–The Truman Show

I swear, driving with a GPS brings out the worst in me. When there is a tinny female voice on my dashboard instructing me to turn left and then to remain in the right lane, oddly enough, at that particular moment, I have the intense urge to turn right and then immediately switch to the left lane.

You might call me a bit contrary.

What is even worse, I feel a certain thrill when I see the word “Recalculating” on the screen in front of me. That’s right, Bonnie, dear, I made you recalculate. Again. And again. And again. Mwahahahaha.

I told you; she brings out my ugly side.

I can’t help thinking of the scene in The Truman Show when Truman temporarily escapes from the world Christof has created for him. The show technicians switch from camera to camera but cannot locate their subject. In that moment, Truman is invisible and invincible. That’s how I feel when I cut through parking lots and make a series of rapid turns to navigate out of a shopping center. She can’t keep up. She knows it. I win.

I’m actually a safe driver, I promise.

If this experience has taught me nothing else, it is a greater respect for the wisdom of one Captain Barbossa: “You’re off the edge of the map, mate. Here, there be monsters” (…and techno-competitive people, who are just as bad).


Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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