A different kind of resume

Try #2, after Blogger shut down without saving my draft.

What with all the decisions about jobs, internships, and reapplying to grad schools, I have found myself thinking a lot about resumes. What would a resume look like if it was comprised solely of skills that correspond to my interests? Here’s what I think it might look like:

Organizing things

Recently spent three hours alphabetizing list of books read in the last eight years. Maintains seasonal organization of clothing. Workstation is covered with post-it notes and to-do lists.

Writing random things

Has written and maintained five blogs. Specialized in mass emails telling quirky stories about college life and studying abroad.

Creating parodies of poems, quotations, and writing styles

Rewrote “The Night Before Christmas,” “I heard the bells,” selections from Shakespeare, and “The Tiger.” Drafted a letter to evict college housemates using legal jargon and style.

Helping confused people

Served as a parking attendent at local functions. Assisted students with sending their papers to the appropriate printer. Gave visiting parents directions to appropriate campus buildings. Handled customer service at home school bookfairs.

Editing for good writers

Regularly marks typographical or grammatical errors in personal copies of textbooks and mass market periodicals. Known as the “comma police” and resident expert in obscure questions about grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Formatting things

Recreated an electronic copy of an out-of-print mock trial guide. Standardized format for study and assignment guides written by five different authors. Known for spending excess amounts of time on the details of an assignment before beginning the actual work. Hates “widows” and “orphans” in documents. Will re-edit blog posts multiple times to avoid hanging lines.

Tweaking pictures

Used basic photo software to add color to black-and-white images, edit, crop, and add elements to scenic photographs. Particularly specialized in adding people and switching elements in the picture to create an abstract effect.

Reading books

Completed a 40-60 book reading list every summer since 2004. Received a B.A. in English. Had memberships at and regularly frequented four-six different libraries since 1994.

Reading out loud

Recites memorized passages from Shakespeare while exercising. Aspires to work in Reader’s Theater at some point. Enjoys reading Shakespeare and Paradise Lost out loud when no one is home.

Learning…especially bizarre things

Learned elvish and translated several poems from Lord of the Rings. Took macroeconomics for fun. Enjoyed general education classes. Checks out non-fiction books from the library during the summer. Knows how to change a water filter. Wants to learn about car engines. Enjoys following skilled people around. Concurrently considered five different college majors.

…And I could probably come up with more. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of entry level jobs that match that set of skills/interests.

I guess there’s always “Clean Sweep” or “Beauty and the Geek,” right?


Published by Jen

The author of Snark on the Side is not your average run-of-the-millennial generation. Jen is a contradiction in terms: a graceful klutz, a smart blond, a math-savvy English degree-holder, a southern liberal, and an adult amateur equestrian who doesn’t match her saddle pads. Snark on the Side is a work in progress, born out of years of rambling email newsletters and anthropomorphized Christmas letters, small town observations, and the ever-present irony of pursuing a career with a degree in English literature. Thanks for visiting!

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